The R&B singer says she once confused loyalty with holding on, even when the people she supported were not giving her the same commitment in return.

Monica is opening up about a lesson she says took years to understand: being loyal to someone does not mean allowing them to take advantage of you.

In a 2024 interview with HelloBeautiful, the singer reflected on her experiences in love and relationships and admitted that she has sometimes loved people so deeply that her loyalty ultimately worked against her.

“I’ve learned the ride-or-die mentality will sometimes allow people to just ride completely over you,” Monica said.

When Loyalty Goes Too Far

Monica explained that she found herself giving loyalty and dedication to people who did not always offer the same in return.

For years, she believed that walking away meant she was giving up on someone. Eventually, she realized that letting go and being disloyal are not the same thing.

That realization changed the way she viewed relationships.

Being supportive of someone through difficult times can be a beautiful expression of love. But there is a difference between standing beside someone and constantly sacrificing your own happiness, boundaries or self respect for them.

You Can Love Someone Without Losing Yourself

The idea of being “ride or die” is often romanticized.

People are praised for staying through everything, defending their partner and never giving up. But unconditional loyalty can become unhealthy when one person continues giving while the other continues taking.

A healthy relationship requires reciprocity.

Both people should feel supported. Both should be willing to make sacrifices. Both should respect each other’s boundaries.

Monica’s experience suggests that loyalty should not require someone to abandon themselves.

Her Perspective Has Changed

Monica has also spoken about how she has learned from heartbreak and past relationships.

She said she once believed that giving the “right thing” to the wrong people was simply part of being loyal. Now, she understands that love also requires choosing people who are capable of giving that same love back.

At the time of the interview, Monica described her relationship with Anthony “Ant” Wilson as an experience in which she felt supported and loved in a way that allowed her to become softer.

That contrast appears to have helped reinforce what she had learned about the difference between sacrifice and partnership.

When Should You Stop Being “Ride or Die”?

Monica’s message raises an important question:

How do you know when loyalty has gone too far?

It may be when you’re constantly making excuses for someone’s behavior.

It may be when you’re giving far more than you’re receiving.

It may be when supporting someone repeatedly leaves you feeling exhausted, disrespected or unappreciated.

Loyalty should not require you to tolerate everything.

Sometimes walking away is not betrayal.

Sometimes it is self respect.

The Bigger Lesson

Monica’s experience is a reminder that loving someone deeply does not mean you have to accept being treated poorly.

You can forgive someone without continuing the relationship.

You can care about someone without constantly rescuing them.

And you can be loyal while still having boundaries.

Because real loyalty should never require you to abandon yourself.